Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Mixed Blessing

I've got this window client, and the job I've been doing for them has come in three parts. The first part was one hell of a learning experience, both in terms of technical understanding of the windows and hardware involved, and my ability to keep myself on task without a boss. When it came to the second and third parts, things have gone a bit wobbly.

The original plan was to install Part 2 before Christmas, install Part 3 by the end of January. I had difficulty keeping to this plan, which eventually led to me getting two extensions, and I spent most of the last two weeks stressed out of my gourd trying to get Part 2 done by the end of last week so I could install them over the weekend. Turns out the client was out of town with relatives, and has now scheduled the installation for next week.

This is, one would think, great for me. Except that the reprieve gave me an excuse to take a day or two off to get over the insane levels of stress, and... I can't seem to get back to work. This creates a problem for Part 3, which is now going to run into February, except I need that last payment for February's rent.

This is why I'm shutting down the business as soon as this job is done. Without a boss expecting me to be at work every day, I have great difficulty mustering the motivation to pick up my tools. So now it's a matter of getting Part 2 ready to install (a day's work), getting started on Part 3, figuring out a way to make the rent, and looking for a full-time job sooner rather than later, all while drowning in the depression and suicidal ideation that comes with failing at something I ought to have been able to do.

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

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